


Second Wave

by EdeatheDemonFox



Series: Waves [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crying, I love reading fluff why do I write angst???, I'm just a dork that loves metaphors, Lance has a strong bond with momma Red, Lance keeps it pretty well hidden, Lance still feels rejected by Blue, Langst, My sonjust needs love, Other, Protective Red, Self Esteem Issues, Silent Blue, Somewhat interpretive ending, Tears, feelings of worthlessness, metaphors of fire for Red and water for Blue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-06 18:47:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12216762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdeatheDemonFox/pseuds/EdeatheDemonFox
Summary: They say the bad things, they come in waves of three – Life Vest by The MaterialFirst wave: being rejected by BlueSecond wave: having to say goodbye to RedThird wave:“I guess this is it, huh?”He plopped down in front of her, crisscross applesauce style, and tried to go for a grin. When Red didn’t respond, and she always responded, the brunet knew that it was because she found no amusement in his already crumbling façade.





	Second Wave

_They say the bad things, they come in waves of three – Life Vest by The Material_

_First wave: being rejected by Blue_

_Second wave: having to say goodbye to Red_

_Third wave:_

 

Lance had to do this now; he had only one shot. To say goodbye to Red. Because now that the real Shiro was back (all along, they’d had a clone Shiro??? He was still trying to wrap his head around that), Black’s real paladin would return to piloting her, meaning that Keith would get to go back to Red and…Well. Lance had already decided that Allura would stay with Blue. How could he separate them when they’d gotten closer than he and Blue ever had and much faster to boot? He couldn’t…he couldn’t irrevocably damage the team by tearing them apart from one another, even if he wanted to be back with his beautiful blue girl more than anything. He couldn’t let his insecurities dampen the team.

Guardian spirit of water? Yeah. With all the tears he’d cried as of late, that was so ironically fitting, more so than anyone would ever know.

“Hey, Red,” the Cuban murmured, walking into the respective lion’s hangar.

She rumbled a low greeting, yellow eyes almost glinting in the fluorescent lighting. Lance’s eyes lit up for a mere few seconds at her even giving him the time of day – because as Keith’s lion, honestly, Lance was surprised that Red had called out to him at all that first day, regardless of what Allura said, but the small lion had grown protective and even quite fond of him, blowing his fears completely out of the water like an underwater volcanic explosion. But then the light in his eyes died down, the anguish inside feeding on whatever it could.

“I guess this is it, huh?”

He plopped down in front of her, crisscross applesauce style, and tried to go for a grin. When Red didn’t respond, and she always responded, the brunet knew that it was because she found no amusement in his already crumbling façade. Lance could say with complete honesty that Red really was proactive in showing her paladins that she cared, that they were under her protection; like a cub, kind of. And it hadn’t just been with Keith. Going to fetch the mullet in open space, almost destroying the Marmora base just because Keith had been in trouble…The moody lion hadn’t even waited for Lance to come to her. She had reached out to _him._

And after the still there sting of being rejected by Blue, that had been so much more than Lance would have ever dared to hope for.

It wasn’t just that either. She listened to him, always, no matter how trivial his thoughts or words, tried her best to fill his soul with oven like warmth, even though he was by now so used to Blue’s trickling chill. Anytime she caught his low self esteem rearing its ugly head, she would give an angry roar and try her best to force it out, like it were a physical enemy that could be blown to bits by her fire. And then she would turn to him and angrily say that he needed to stand up for himself, that he wasn’t worthless – even though by now he felt so worthless that he honestly thought it should be branded into his skin like a reminder. She tried her best, she did, and she was probably the most fearsome foe his self esteem had ever gone up against, but there was still only so much she could do.

Dangerous thoughts would come back with a vengeance the minute Red stopped feeding him her heat and she would come to chase them away, but then the cycle just repeated whenever her presence left again. So now, she never left Lance alone. He always had a fireplace inside to keep the dark at bay, trying to evaporate the ocean Blue had left behind in him into nothing but curling tendrils of steam.

Growling, already aware of the dark train of thought his mind had climbed on, Red knelt down so that she was on her metal belly, opening her mouth to grant Lance entrance, or moreover, she wasn’t granting him entrance, but instead ordering it. She wanted to give him the best form of comfort she could, by having him inside of her so she could warm him physically and wrap him up in a big, invisible heated blanket.

Lance gave a strained smile, making no move to get up and give his soon to be _second_ ex-lion what she wanted.

“ _No_ , Red. Thank you, but no. I can’t keep depending on you to keep my head above water. Especially now that…” He rubbed the back of his neck with anxiety ridden, trembling fingers. “Well, especially now that Shiro’s back and there’s no need for me to be your pilot anymore.”

When Red didn’t answer, Lance sighed. She rumbled unhappily in his mind, saying that if she could have two pilots, she would take back Keith _and_ keep Lance. She had grown so fond of him, even with Keith still being her true paladin.

“Yeah, I know you would, Gorgeous, but it wouldn’t be fair to ask mullet-for-brains to share his lion just because I’m feeling a little insecure and know that Allura’s better for Blue than I ever was.”

At that admission, though he wasn’t sure if he could technically call it that since he had ever so subtly told Keith his thoughts on the matter before, Red downright snarled at him, clearly saying _LIES!_

_You know Blue misses you terribly. You know that she’s aching to take you back –_

“Really?” Lance snorted quietly. “Well then, why has it been so quiet on her end, Red? Why hasn’t she said word one to me all this time? I know she had to let Allura in for the good of the team, but that doesn’t mean she had to just shove me out. Like I meant nothing. Like I still do…”

Shaking his head, Lance didn’t even let Red answer – and he could hear the responding growls rumbling through her like lava – before he was up and back on his feet, placating palms up.

“Look, that’s not even why I came down here! I didn’t come down here to talk about her. I came here to talk to you. You know what I came to talk about, girl. So why are you making this so hard on me? On both of us?”

Red’s mouth remained open, still tempting him to walk up her ramp and go inside, where he would be scalding warm, cookies straight from the oven, and then he could ask her to turn up the heat even more so that it would burn him. Take one kind of pain away by presenting the body with another. Or more accurately, forget about the mental pain for awhile by putting yourself in physical pain. Both sounded morbid and so unlike the normal Lance, the Lance that everyone thought they knew, but at this point, the teenager was too tired of it all to care.

Too mentally exhausted, too emotionally brittle and in need of reassuring words from a real person instead of a sentient robot who, though she was trying her best, still couldn’t give him what he really needed. Or even reassuring words from his first ex sentient robot, but he didn’t bother getting his hopes up on that one.

Why bother holding his breath when he would just be prolonging the inevitable drowning anyway?

“Red,” he finally managed, his voice already hoarse with emotion. “We really had some good times, didn’t we? Seriously,” now he tried to laugh, failed miserably but tried all the same, “like when we took down those Galra ships. My first time flying you. Wondering where in the heck your brakes were. And yeah, I crashed you – I’m still sorry about that – but we still did a pretty banging job.”

The lion rumbled her agreement, purring in fondness at the memory. She hadn’t liked the crashing part, obviously, but for a person who wasn’t her true paladin and someone used to flying one of the slower lions, he had done a fairly decent job. And had only improved since.

“Razzle dazzle,” he murmured, snapping them both back to present time.

He moved to place a hand on her shoulder, since she was still on her stomach, and he gave her a grin, tried to make it one of his usual, flirtatious ones, even making his signature finger gun with his other hand, but as usual, Red didn’t fall for it. Seeing right through him.

“I guess this is goodbye, girl. I’m gonna miss you.”

And then he turned, a tsunami of emotions welling up inside – it had all finally become too much; he was about to break. He didn’t want her to see, didn’t want anyone to see, but especially not her. The one who had been there for him and understood him without even needing to be told what was wrong, just sensing it and comforting him the best she could. Like a mom. Just a mom with one hell of a serious temper.

Lance choked on a laugh at the thought, tears already coming fast and furious from his tear ducts, splashing onto his face like a first degree saltwater burn.

“You take care of Keith, okay? I mean, I know you will but…he hasn’t had an easy time with Black. So. I’m just gonna go now…”

Rubbing furiously at his face with his jacket sleeve, Lance took a step forward, ready to leave the hangar. But in the blink of an eye he was thrown onto his butt with a heavy paw against his back, holding him down.

“Red, what the hell?!” he whined, trying with all his might to get his body out from under her claws.

But she would not be deterred; if anything, her claws seemed to tighten their hold on him, digging into his jacket fiercely. A few minutes of struggling later got Lance nowhere but out of breath and with a sheen of sweat just under his bangs. Finally, he sighed in defeat and flopped completely against her, body pressed up against her other paw and chest.

Why did every person in his life seem to make it their life goal to give him the complete opposite of what he wanted? Even the ones who truly meant well?

Like a revving engine, Red’s purrs started up once more, warming Lance up from the inside out. And he was nothing but a moth, aching to burn up in the furnace of flames that was the Red Lion’s very being. Just like that, the tears came back, spilling out and over, like Red’s paw bearing down on him had only hit pause but now that it was crushing – tenderly crushing – him and effectively trapping him there, the play button had been pressed again, allowing life to continue. Allowing the pain to swallow Lance whole.

He sobbed against her, the only thing at this point, keeping him tethered to reality.

“I don’t think I can do it, Red. But I don’t have a choice. I never had a choice. It wasn’t my choice to be a paladin, to leave home, it wasn’t my choice to leave Blue, and you know I love you, but it wasn’t my choice to fly you and be in Keith’s shadow _again._ ”

Red gave a sad rumble, laying her head down on the hangar floor with a huff and pressing her steel muzzle up against the lanky, cocoa-skinned boy. Try as she might, there was nothing she could do, no matter how much she wished otherwise.

But there might be something her original pilot could do. She sensed him standing just outside listening in, had been since the beginning. He had followed Lance down here, curious as to what the brunet might be up to. And had stumbled into a vat of quicksand. He was too far in to get himself back out now.

She sent him a warning signal, to leave and let Lance have his privacy, to let the Red Lion and Blue Paladin have a moment to themselves in relative peace. She might adore Keith, but she wouldn’t stand Lance’s territory being encroached upon while the boy was at his most vulnerable.

With a jolt, Keith whirled around, his back to the wall, chest heaving. His eyes were wide, unseeing. What the hell had just happened? Keith knew, he _knew_ that Lance had well hidden insecurities – that moment when Lance had come to him with his problem instead of Shiro – but he had never thought…that they could be this bad.

How long had he felt like this? Since the beginning?

So all his flirting, his joking around, his over confidence to the point of downright arrogance…it was all just an act. Bravado.

No, that couldn’t be…that couldn’t…

But Keith had just heard everything himself. With his own ears. Seen it all with his own eyes. And now…

Now he didn’t have a clue what to do. Did he go to the rest of the team and make them aware of what Lance fought so hard every day to keep hidden? Or did he, as Red had said, let the boy have his privacy?

Red growled in his mind. Oh. That wasn’t how she meant that. She meant let him have his privacy now, during this particular moment. But in regards to Lance’s hidden – very well hidden – insecurities, he would never be the one to open up to the team about them. He apparently thought he was content to keep it all in the dark without even a nightlight to help guide him through his struggles. So if Lance wouldn’t help himself that meant that someone else had to.

Face now set in grim determination with fists clenched at his side, Keith’s path was crystal clear in the time span of only a few heartbeats.

He strode out of the hangar.

**Author's Note:**

> So I don't know how well the ending is. Honestly it was easier to write Lance's portion because I can empathize with him so much. I have anxiety and depression and low feelings of self esteem even on good days. So hopefully I did alright with Keith's part. I do have two other ideas in mind that could be sequels to this, or rather, this would become the first of a trilogy, but I'm still not sure yet. Thoughts?
> 
> And hopefully it's obvious, but the whole wave thing. Blue already shut him out. So I wouldn't write something on that and make it part of this trilogy. Hence, the first wave. If I do the trilogy, the second part will be Black accepting Shiro back only Lance isn't there with the rest of the team. Blue calls out to him, finally ready to make amends. Anything other than that, I can't say because it would be, naturally, spoilers. And the third part of this trilogy would be the team going to Lance, Keith having told them about Lance's breakdown, and them trying to talk some sense into my precious blue boy. 
> 
> Also. Red really is proactive in showing her paladins that she cares. So...I really think she's going to bond with Lance. At least that's my headcanon. And I'm still rather upset at Blue just shutting Lance out like that. I know people said she's probably hurting too, she had her reasons, etc. But...she's still a pile of blue scrap metal in my mind until she makes up with Lance. And to be honest, there's a part of me that hopes he stays with Red, but...I digress.
> 
> Anyway...let me know what you guys thought. This honestly just came on a whim and now I want to do fan art for it and I probably will end up making this the first of a trilogy butttttt. 
> 
> WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF? WRITE THIS ANGST. WHY DO I DO THIS TO MY PRECIOUS SON??? SOBS.


End file.
